Mushrooms - P. cubensis
Citation: SlipKnot420. "My Journey To Insanity: experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis (ID 41750)". Erowid.org. Mar 28, 2005. erowid.org/exp/41750
I actually wrote this about 4 years ago, and was reading through it randomly tonight and decided to post it.
I ate the quarter of disgusting mushrooms over a 5-minute time span, starting at exactly 7:00 PM. I was at my friend Adam’s house, hanging out in his basement with a bunch of other friends. Two people had taken rolls, and everyone else was smoking weed. I was really excited about the intense trip that I would experience.
About 8 minutes after consumption, I noticed that the mushrooms were already beginning to kick in. Everything around began to look different. The room became started to seem more noticeable and more real. The colors in the room were gradually becoming brighter. What I was experiencing was nothing very intense, but I was feeling some nervousness. It hadn't even been 10 minutes and I was already feeling the mushrooms. In my entire shrooming career, mushrooms had NEVER kicked in that fast. It occurred to me that I probably shouldn’t have eaten so many shrooms on an empty stomach. I decided not to tell anybody that the shrooms were already kicking in. I figured everyone would think that I was just exaggerating anyway.
To relieve the tension I sat down in the chair, but I continued to feel very uncomfortable. I just couldn't relax. This feeling of tension in my body was building up. One of my friends was smoking a joint, and I figured that some pot would relax me and soothe the physical unease that I was experiencing.
'Hey man can I have a hit?' I asked
He gave me the last of the joint and I managed to get a couple of hits off of it. I then went to sit back down but somebody had taken my seat. I wasn’t feeling too bad, but I just wanted to sit down and relax. Things were pretty good for the most part, and I was in a good mood. I looked up at the lights and realized how bright they were. I could tell that my pupils were already dilated.
I gazed down at the grey concrete floor and observed the dark shadows cast upon it. Then to my amazement I noticed that the shadows were swirling together and forming strange patterns. It started to look like the dark shades of shadow on the ground were forming images on the floor. Two-dimensional cartoon cars and houses appeared to form on the ground, as well as other various shapes and images. But oddly, I was having trouble telling if the shadows were really forming those strange shapes and patterns or if the mushrooms were kicking in harder than I thought.
'Hey,' I said to somebody. 'Do you see those patterns?' I pointed to the images that were clearly visible on the hard concrete floor, but he just looked at me strangely and didn't answer. I was starting to realize that these vivid pictures decorating the floor weren’t even there. I was amazed at how real and detailed they looked though, but also slightly nervous by the fact that I couldn’t distinguish them from reality. As I continued to observe them they morphed and changed shape.
I was tripping already. It hadn’t even been half an hour since I had eaten the mushrooms and I was tripping pretty decently. I knew that I was in for a very intense night, but I was still completely unaware of the experience that I was about to embark upon.
The seeds of nervousness that were already planted in my mind began to grow when my friend turned to me and said 'You know this isn't going to be a good experience. These kids we are with are all lightweights.'
I nodded, but tried to forget what he said. He didn’t mean I was going to have a bad trip. He just meant I would feel separated because only two people that we were with had ever tripped before. So I tried to ignore the comment, and push it out of my mind. However nervousness about everything was growing deep inside me. I began to convince myself that I was going to have a bad time. I had a tense feeling in my chest that was steadily building up. I knew not to think this way during a mushroom trip, so I forced my mind onto other thoughts.
I looked back at the lights on the ceiling and they were even brighter now. They were glowing bright white. 'Are my pupils big?' I asked out loud.
My friend looked up at me and said 'Yea they look really big to me and I’m all the way across the room.'
I relaxed and began to forget about my physical and mental unease. Everybody sat in a circle, getting ready to smoke some weed, so I took a seat on the couch. Weed was just what I needed. I wanted to relax a little, and I was sure the weed would calm my stomach. Plus smoking weed is awesome on shrooms. Somebody pulled out a bong and started passing it around. When it came to me I took a massive hit. I just kept inhaling more and more smoke because I couldn't feel any smoke in my lungs. I held the hit in for a while and then finally exhaled a huge cloud of smoke. After that, I sat back, and waited for the weed to relax me some more.
I looked over at one of my friends, and he started to climb a pole in Adam's basement. He had taken a hit of ecstasy earlier, and it was starting to kick in. I turned away and leaned back on the couch. My body was beginning to feel heavy. The shrooms were really grabbing a hold of my brain. When I looked back I saw that two of my friends (both were rolling) were hanging from a pole on the ceiling. What the fuck? This was too weird for my altered state to make sense of, so I just ignored it.
I started talking to somebody else to distract myself from the crazy kids on ecstasy hanging from the ceiling. He was saying something about me having a crazy grin on my face. As I listened to my friend talk, he started to sound further and further away. I could barely hear him at all. It was like trying to listen to him from underwater. His voice sounded muffled and distorted. Everything around me looked and sounded so distant. Then I heard two people talking to each other, although I didn't know who was saying what. Their voices sounded very distant.
'This is so weird, normally we are the people who are always fucked up'
'Yeah but this time everybody else is fucked up and we are sober'
Fucked up? Was I fucked up? No, I was normal. I started to forget where I was, believing that I was at my friend Dan’s house. I could see his room, his bed, his carpet. I quickly snapped out of it though and realized where I actually was. Then my mind returned to its previous thoughts. Fucked up? I couldn’t be fucked up. I didn’t understand the concept of hallucinogens, or even drugs in general. How could they alter consciousness? Why would I want to alter my consciousness? What the hell was consciousness anyway? What was going on?
I was feeling very uncomfortable now. My stomach was very tense, and my body felt weird and unfamiliar. My sense of gravity was severely altered. It felt like I was sinking deeper and deeper into the couch. I sat up straight because I didn't like that feeling. But sitting up didn't feel right either. I needed to stay as relaxed as possible, and when I sat up my body felt like it was being pulled from different directions. So I laid back against the couch and once again felt like something was pushing me into it. The feeling was very similar to the pulling sensation I experienced on salvia. I looked at my hands and legs and they didn't seem like they were mine. Just like when I was on salvia.
Salvia. Am I on salvia??? I wasn’t sure. Everything started to seem exactly like salvia, and I had a feeling mushrooms and salvia were related somehow. This was making me very nervous, because I didn't want to be this fucked up. The Salvia universe was the last place that I wanted to go. Suddenly I just wanted it all to end. I wanted to know how much longer I would be tripping for, how much more of this uncomfortable madness I would have to endure.
'What time is it?' I asked my friend.
'Its 7:30' he said.
'Okay,' I said. But the numbers had no real meaning to me. It had been half an hour since I had eaten the shrooms and I was already tripping much harder than I ever had before. I sat back and felt the pulling sensation return, but it was even stronger now. The couch was trying to pull me into it!!! I quickly sat back up again but gravity felt so weird. I couldn't get comfortable. It was getting very scary. My sense of time was completely destroyed by now. After enduring what seemed to be a couple hours of this sinking feeling, I asked my friend what time it was again.
'It's midnight' he said jokingly. Even though it felt like hours had passed I guess only a minute had. However, I believed him when he told me that it was midnight.
'IT'S MIDNIGHT???” I exclaimed. “I gotta go home!!! Will somebody drive me home?'
'Ha ha its not actually midnight' he said laughingly. “I’m just joking. It’s only been like a minute since you asked me.”
'Oh,' I said. I tried to forget it but I couldn’t get the thought of it being midnight out of the back of my mind. I sat on the couch, enduring my mushroom trip. I waited a few hours, struggling to keep my sanity. 'What time is it?' I asked him again a long time later.
'It's midnight now,” he said again.
Oh no! It really was midnight this time! I knew because I could tell a long time had passed since I last asked him. I was still tripping too! I didn’t want to get home too late or my parents might get really mad. 'I have to go home!!!' I told him
'Relax, I’m just joking' He said and once again laughed. “You keep asking that every 30 seconds.”
My sense of time was so distorted that I seriously thought four hours had passed in those 30 seconds. Time was becoming extremely dilated. Every second was being stretched out so that each moment felt like an hour.
'Messing with his mind like that is the worst thing you can to do somebody who is tripping' I heard somebody say.
Tripping? Was I tripping?? What the hell? I wasn't tripping. I was getting really freaked out now. Slowly my friends were beginning to look more and more unfamiliar to me. I didn't know what was going on. I heard Adam shouting loudly. That made me even more uncomfortable. I suddenly realized that this was a bad place to eat shrooms. I didn’t like being here normally, let alone shrooming. I didn't know or care what time it was anymore, all I knew is that I wanted to go home. I hadn’t been careful enough about setting. I was having such a bad time because I was at a place I didn’t like. But how would I get home? It was too far to walk, and I hadn’t driven there. Somebody would be nice enough to drive me home. These people were all my friends. They would understand that I didn’t want to be here, and they would be more than willing to drive me.
'Will somebody drive me home???' I asked.
Everybody seemed confused that I wanted to leave since it wasn't even 8 PM on a Friday evening. And nobody wanted to leave to drive me home.
I remember somebody saying 'Why do you want to go home? Don't you want to stay with your friends?' His voice sounded distorted and unfamiliar.
Friends? I was confused. By this point I didn’t even recognize anybody anymore. 'Uh no I just want to go home. Why won't anybody drive me home?'
'Nobody has a car to drive you home right now.' He said. This was totally ridiculous since everybody had their cars there, but at the time I believed him.
'Oh I understand,' I said. It seemed to make perfect sense to me at the time. So I began walking around. The room was looking unbelievably bizarre now. Every color was more intense than any color I had ever seen. It was almost like everything was glowing. I walked over and stared at the unplugged pinball machine in the corner, trying to keep myself entertained. I could feel the spiritual energy coming. I knew something BIG was on its way.
But soon the idea of wanting to go home crept back into my head. I asked for people to drive me home again, but nobody would. Everybody was looking at me like I was completely insane, and I couldn’t understand why. I felt really scared. Was I insane? I never thought that I was insane. But what if I was? What if I had been for a long time and had never realized it. Everybody who met me would be nice to me, but they were really just being nice to the retarded kid. I had become one of the prime examples of how drugs could completely destroy somebody’s mind. And I had never even realized it. I could see myself walking through the halls at school, talking to people, feeling completely normal. But then everybody would look at me sadly as I was walking away and think “It’s so sad what drugs can do to somebody.” Was I one of those kids who were mentally challenged and I just didn't realize it? Were drugs the reason why? Everybody was treating me strangely, looking at me strangely. Something was wrong but I couldn’t figure out what. They were all staring at me with concerned looks on their faces. They all looked so unfamiliar. I felt like a little kid on a hospital table, being stared at by a bunch of strange adult doctors while a bright spotlight blinded me. Their faces looked warped and distorted.
'Are you starting to feel scared?' somebody asked me.
“I’m just really confused….” I said. My voice sounded so unfamiliar. I wasn’t really feeling terror or panic. But the distortion, the confusion, it was overwhelming.
“Are you thinking that you want it to stop?”
'Yeah…maybe…I dunno what's going on, I just want to go home.' I said, filled with paranoia. Everybody was staring at me. There was something wrong with me. But what?
'That's what had happened to me too' he said to somebody else. Then he turned to me and said 'Nobody can drive you home right now. Here, just lay down on the couch for a while.'
I laid down on the couch and tried to go to sleep. By this point, all I wanted was for this to end. I tried to sleep it off, but when I closed my eyes all I could see were colors and colors and colors. There were hundreds of intense bright colors, moving around and changing and flowing. This was insane. I was so shaky, I looked at my hands and they were drenched in sweat. It felt like I was tripping on acid. Only it was crazier.
'Don't go to sleep,' Somebody said to me. 'You're going to waste the trip.'
'Haha, he's not going to fall asleep' Someone else replied.
They sounded millions of miles away. I laid there on the couch with my eyes closed, confused, staring at the bright colors which danced behind my eyes. I couldn’t sleep it off. I sat up. I didn’t feel good. I felt sick. Very very sick.
'Here, take you shoes, off, get comfortable' A kid who was rolling said to me. I must have mentioned that I was feeling sick. 'If you have to throw up, try to do it in this bucket. If you don't make it in the bucket though that’s okay, we will clean it up.' I didn't want to throw up. I don't know why but I was suddenly determined not to vomit. The nausea in my stomach was steadily increasing but I fought it.
'I'm so cold!' I said. My body was freezing; I had never felt so cold in my life. I felt icy, but the feeling wasn’t just covering my body. The cold was deep inside me as well. It was so uncomfortable that I was shaking. He gave me his green plaid shirt to wear, but I was too confused to put the shirt on.
'Here, put one arm in one sleeve, and the other arm in the other.' He told me. I tried but I couldn't manage to do it. It was like seeing a shirt for the first time. I couldn’t filter my vision to figure out what I was seeing. There was just a mass of random colors and shapes. “No don’t just put it around you, put your arms in the sleeves….” He said. I still wasn’t doing it right and so eventually he just put the shirt on me. Then he got somebody else’s sweatshirts and put that on me as well.
I returned to the couch, laying on my stomach and trying to sleep my trip off. I should have known by now that there was no way to sleep off a trip, but it was the only thing I wanted to do. I looked down at the shirt I was wearing but realized that I had never seen it before. I had already forgotten that I was wearing somebody else’s shirt. This added to my sense of total confusion.
As I continued to lie on the couch, gravity suddenly stopped existing. The couch was sideways. Then it was spinning. Then it was upside down so that it was on top of me, crushing me. My face was being smothered in the pillows. I couldn't breath. I was drowning in it. The couch was a red liquid ocean and I was drowning in it. I wanted to get up, to tell somebody that I was dying but I couldn't move. I felt like I was suffocating in the couch. Nobody seemed to notice that I was dying either. Something was going very wrong in my body. Why wasn’t anyone paying attention to me?
Suddenly I realized the severity of what was happening. I had always known that I was going to die, that my life on this earth would have to come to an end eventually. But now it was ACTUALLY happening. I felt filled with fear at what was going to happen. It was all ending. Soon my body, the body that had been mine for so many years, would just be lifeless laying in this basement. My life, my memories, my self, would all be gone. I thought about my parents. They would be so upset about it. But by this point it was too late, there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t hold on any longer. And I felt myself die. It was scary. My heart wasn’t beating in my body anymore, I wasn’t breathing, everything was going wrong in my brain.
And then it was over. The frantic panic dissolved into serene calm. Suddenly it wasn't scary anymore. I became one with the trees, the grass, the world. I felt my soul stretch towards infinity. Feeling myself becoming part of the millions of galaxies existing throughout the universe. I was seeing visions of the stars and heavens glowing brilliantly. Swirls of universes, the amazing heavens, it was more amazing than any picture of outer space that you could ever see. And I was part of it all again. It had always been like this. This was all so familiar. Something that you forget when you are alive, but once it’s over you become a part of everything again and remember. And it was amazing.
Forever later, a friend was talking to me. Somehow I was processing earth again. I was processing life again. But the mushroom trip was only getting stronger. I was completely unaware of what was going on. He was saying something like, “Relax, just remember that it’ll be over in a few hours.”
It would be over??? I momentarily started to realize that I was shrooming. I was still very confused, but hearing that made me feel a lot less frightened. It would all be over eventually. I remembered that it was Friday, and I hoped that I would stop tripping before school started on Monday, but I was pretty sure I wouldn’t. Time was completely distorted and I started going through what seemed to be hours in a matter of seconds. I was fast forwarding through Friday, and then Saturday, and then Sunday. The time for me to have to go to school was coming closer and closer and I was still tripping. In reality only a couple seconds had passed but I didn’t realize this. As far as I was concerned, I was living hours and hours in moments. It was Monday morning.
I started walking around. I remember somebody put a bunch of pillows on the floor and said 'Hey , do you want to jump on these pillows?' I was confused, why would I want to do that?
“No…” I said.
He kept giving me suggestions on things to do and I kept doing them. Soon he said “These are all just suggestions you know. You can do whatever you want.”
This was amazing. I suddenly felt free. Like I had been trapped in a negative state of thought, and now I was free. I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to. I didn’t have to follow him, or anybody else. I was embarking on an amazing journey, and I could choose where I wanted it to go. I had complete freedom to do anything I wanted. To go anywhere I wanted. To live anyway that I wanted. Life felt incredible. I started walking, not sure where I was going but knowing that it would be beyond amazing. I was on an adventure. I walked out the door and stood in Adams backyard, looking around. I wanted to keep walking outside but it was so cold and rainy, so I decided to go back inside.
I kept walking around on the journey of my soul, traveling miles in the small basement. I realized that I was completely amazed at the power of the mushroom. I was tapping into vast amounts of universal information. I saw a library of information stretching out in front of me. Endless shelves, filled with row after row of books on every subject matter, stretching out in every direction towards infinity. This feeling was beyond amazing. I was in contact with the mushroom spirit now and it was guiding me along. This mushroom spirit was ancient, yet so familiar. It had been around for so long, it had seen the earth when it was a totally different place. This ancient spirit had been around for thousands of years, and would be around for thousands more to see the future worlds.
I was walking by somebody, barely aware of any concept of reality, and he said “Hey look at these rugs, what trippy things are you seeing in it?”
I realized I was walking by two rectangular rugs with intricate designs weaved into them. I looked at one and it shifted from two dimensional to three-dimensional. It kept gaining a sense of depth and slowly became a portal to another world. I gave some nonsensical answer to my friend about what I was seeing and he didn’t understand it. Then I walked right through the portal!
I remembered watching Gumby as a little kid. There was an episode when they walked through some Chinese painting and ended up in China. I saw all of this happening in my mind and realized that was exactly what was happening to me. I was going through this rug and into the same world that Gumby had went into. I was seeing strange claymation figures of Gumby characters and wandering through a fantasy claymation world
At some point a friend was talking to me. I didn’t really hear most of what he was saying, but I remember him saying, “Yeah, you’ve tripped plenty of times before.”
The word got stuck in my head. It was something magical to explain the magic that was being cast upon me. Everything was magical. I was in a magical new world now. Tripped. Tripped. Tripped.
When I thought of the word “tripped”, there was a flash and I traveled somewhere new. I became waves of energy which were rippling across time and space, transporting me somewhere else. Suddenly I found myself sitting in my first period English class. Every color was so vivid and intense. The bright red floor seemed to be glowing. My English teacher had a crazy grin on her face, like she was intoxicated on the magic in the air that I was feeling.
I thought of the word “TRIP” again and in a flash I once again I traveled somewhere new. I once again became rippeling waves of energy and was transported. There were these strange adults standing around talking about me. They had that same strange grin that my English teacher had. There was magic in the air. I could see it, I could touch it. They understood the magic of these mushrooms. You eat them and permanently enter this new world. I was going to be in this state forever. In this magical world for the rest of my life.
In the background of this traveling I heard the distant voice of somebody ( I think it was Dave) say to somebody else, “Cops don’t even care. Did you hear about the guy that was caught tripping by channel 2 news?”
Cops don’t even care? In a second I was transported to another place. I was seeing places that I would be in the future. People standing around me, grinning that same crazy grin. The mushroom kept transporting me from one spot to another to another with these flashes. I was soaring across time and space.
And that is when I got stuck in the time loop. In my head I once again heard Dave’s words “Did you hear the guy that was caught tripping by channel 2 news?” And then the spirit of the mushroom showed me something that completely blew my mind. The person who had gotten caught by channel 2 news was ME! Although it hadn’t happened to me yet, I knew that I was the person they were talking about. It hadn’t happened yet but it would by the end of the night. I was probably going to wander outside and get lost. Somehow I was going to be caught by the channel 2 news. I was seeing what would happen. People would be filming me, laughing while I wandered around completely disoriented. But they weren’t mad that I was on drugs; they just found it humorous that I was tripping so hard. All those people had the same crazy grin on their face too. I knew that it was bad to be caught tripping, but it I knew I wouldn’t get in trouble because “Cops don’t even care”. Then the mushroom showed me the news clip that would be showed on the news of me. In the clip I was wandering around completely disoriented, but the news wasn’t making a big deal over how a horrible drug epidemic is taking over the town. Instead they just laughed happily. They didn’t even give out my identity or show my face. That’s because I was in this new, magical world now, where everybody seemed to be intoxicated by the magic in the air. Then the mushrooms showed me Dave sitting in his house watching this story on TV, except he didn’t know that it was me who had been caught tripping because the news hadn’t released my identity. He then came to Adam’s later that day. I ended up taking Shrooms at Adam’s and while I was Shrooming Dave said “Did you hear about the guy who was caught tripping by channel 2 news?”. And so I was stuck in some strange sort of time loop. It all came back to itself in some sort of strange circle, but even though it hadn’t happened yet, I knew that I was the one who was going to be caught by channel 2 news.
Soon I was walking on those rugs again, staring at the patterns. But time was going backwards now. I was getting younger and younger. I felt like a 6 year old, wandering around. I kept getting younger and younger, and soon I was a 3 year old. I looked at my friend’s green plaid shirt, which I was still wearing, and thought back to when it had been put on me. I had completely forgotten that he had put it on me. Instead I was seeing my parents putting it on me, and then I was at some day care. I thought I was at the day care I used to go to when I was little. But I kept getting younger and younger as time rewound faster. Soon I was a baby again. It was amazing; I was getting closer and closer to the creation of my existence. I would soon know what happened before I was born. I kept getting younger and younger until I reached the point before I was born. And WOW.
Suddenly a million memories started flooding back to me. But they weren’t memories from my life. They were memories of the ultimate truth. The answer to every question. This is definitely the hardest part of the trip to explain. It was like an incredible never ending déjà vu. The feeling kept getting stronger and stronger as I was soaring through this new spiritual dimension, I didn’t have a body to hold me down. Nor did I have a self to hold me together. When you are on the earth existence, its like you have blinders on, making you forget about the truth. But once you leave the earth world, the spiritual understanding comes back to you.
Thinking back to earth life, and remembering how I was always trying to understand what life really was. But I couldn’t understand it because I had those blinders on. But now I was back to the place where my soul had initially came from. My soul was continuously moving faster and faster through this new world, uniting with it. Realizing that it had never been separate from this world. The seperateness was just an illusion. This was my true home. As I thought back to that earth existence, I realized that eventually I would have to go back there. Once again, I’d have to live another life confused about existence with my blinders on. But it didn’t matter, because no matter how long it seemed that I would be in that world, it was really only a tiny amount of time compared to how long I’d stay in the ultimate truth once I died again. And then I would come back to my soul’s true “home” and reunite with the ultimate. And then I would have to go back to the earth world again. I would be eternally switching back and forth between these two places. I then realized that I always had been switching back and forth between these two worlds since the creation of the universe. I had lived a million lives and would live a million more.
Basically existence is in the shape of an enormous circle. There is our lifespan on earth, which is about one hundreth of the circle. And the rest of the circle is the ultimate truth. Our soul travels along the circle. We travel along the 1/10th that is existence on earth, and then we die and travel along the rest of the circle. Eventually we come back to the beginning of earth existence and are forced to separate and live another life. Once I entered the ultimate truth I remembered all of this. Every time anybody dies they start to remember this as they travel along the circle. I was following the ultimate path, and everything made sense. I didn’t understand it, but I knew the universe was guiding me along this ultimate path, this journey of my soul. And the path was paved with colors: reds, yellows, and greens, and a million colors I had never known existed. It was beyond words.
I’m not sure how long I was in that state. I slowly began to become aware of what was going on around me. I vaguely remember sitting on a chair while somebody was spinning it around. And I also vaguely remember that later I picked up the chair and threw it across the room. I didn’t realize I had thrown it. I didn’t know gravity existed anymore, and so from my perspective I just pushed it up into the air. It slowly rose into the air and seemed to float. Since gravity didn’t exist, I thought it would just stay up in the air. But then it suddenly clattered to the ground and waves of sound echoed through the universe. My friends just laughed at me. I was still aware that I was in this ultimate truth, even though consciousness was returning to my body again. I was still walking around, still on this incredible journey. I remember hearing somebody said something about cigarettes. I wondered if I wanted a cigarette, but then I realized I didn’t smoke. I thought about how they were all smoking weed, and for the first time in my life it seemed stupid to me. There was no reason for me to smoke weed anymore. Or do any drugs anymore. I thought about the mushrooms I was growing. I was going to stop growing them. I was going to throw them out when I got home.. I saw myself at home taking the cakes and throwing them all out. Good thing I wasn’t home or I probably would have.
After a few million eternities the ultimate truth faded from my mind. Then came probably the most shocking part of the experience. I started to come back to reality, to realize where I was. I saw all my friends around me and suddenly remembered who they were. I realized that I was in Adam's basement. I wasn’t at school, I wasn’t in Gumby Land, I wasn’t in some ultimate universal state of existence. I hadn’t figured out the answer to life and death at all. Then I remembered that I had eaten mushrooms. This freaked me out more than anything else that happened during the trip. I had been completely delusional for the last few hours. I had intended to have a fun exciting trip, but then ended becoming totally insane. I had been so happy to finally understand the universe, but now realized none of it had been real. For the majority of the trip I hadn’t even realized that I was under the influence of a drug, I had been convinced that it was all real.
I was still tripping for a while after this realization. I was giddy and excited, wandering around looking at things. The grain on the table would start patterning itself and moving and changing. I looked at the lights and saw rainbows around them. Some other things happened to but I was just amazed at what the mushrooms had done to me.
I remember my friend saying to me 'Aren’t you glad that we didn’t drive you home???'
I suddenly remembered how at the beginning I had wanted to go home so badly. I was so glad I didn’t go home, I would have gotten caught by my parents for sure. I was totally delusional for hours.
Finally it was time to leave. We were outside, and it was raining. I was amazed at how beautiful it was outside. The raindrops on the car windows were crystal-like and shimmering. The air smelled amazing and everything looked fresh and new. If I focused on things I could still make them move and change. I got home and kept tripping lightly for a little while.
Although it was a very intense and at times unpleasant experience, I still feel that I learned a lot from it. I had an adventure through space and time that I never knew was possible. I came face to face with my own mortality and feel that I am a little more prepared. And above all, I realized that even though the trip was all a big hallucination, that reality and life and death is still much crazier than it seems, and there is something incredible going on. I was amazed at how totally out of touch with reality those mushrooms had gotten me. I hadn’t known where I was, who I was, or what was going on. It was like having an incredible dream, a dream in which you get what you had always wanted. And then waking up and realizing it wasn't true, it was all a dream. That is how I felt as I was coming down from this experience. It actually disturbed me a little to realize anything could put me in such a distorted state. And that is why I will never eat a quarter of mushrooms again. Well... at least not anytime soon.
The End :-]
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid.