Citation: Wiccan_Seeker. "Geezers' Brotherhood: experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (ID 38062)". Erowid.org. Nov 11, 2004. erowid.org/exp/38062
||(pill / tablet)
Last Sunday-night I got a call from a close friend if the Brotherhood could assemble for a Session. He had become stuck on a life issue he felt he needed to work through in the comfort of MDMA and the Brotherly Love of our team. (we're a Cult of Three!)
In psychedelic spiritual growth an Emergency Session might be called for. We are committed to each other through thick and thin, which includes $50 taxirides at 4AM if it need be.
But, it was the early evening, no oddness neeeded to happen.
Brother X, when called on the job, struck a deal with the night shift and left an hour early from work, picking up the standard Ecstasy groceries (pears, bananas, fruit juices, chocolate milk etc) on his way and I left for the location where we were to meet.
Brother Y had brought the fuel: six tablets of 100mg MDMA, tested and quantified by the Dutch Gov't (LOL our Gov't allows drug-prevention orgs to test pills for individuals to chart the market and prevent health problems like the Red Mitsubishi PMA disaster)
We were to use only 100mg of MDMA each that night: more was not called for.
The Setting was a living room at night, curtains closed, lights out, with occasionally a single candle if joints were rolled or drinks poured. There was no music and there were no triptoys. There was just Darkness, my Self and the disembodied voices of my very best friends.
And such was the way we departed from concensus reality, a Mormon, a wandering Christian and one Wiccan_Seeker, three Psychedelic geezers, sitting in darkness, absorbing three times one-hundred miligrams of methylenedioxymethamphetamine.
Now 'ecstasy' is the dumbest drug name ever.
You don't get Ecstatic by it. If you dance, perhaps, but sitting quietly in Darkness you feel a energized, and yet more tranquil then before. You feel very good, but nowhere near rapturous. The most striking feelings are the obliteration of your everyday woes and, why we held that Energency Session, filled with Empathy, a profound understanding of your Self and others, in the light of your psychedelically enhanced consciousness.
Now we geezers feel it the minute that little tablet releases it's load, but a good twenty minutes after our ritual of ingestion we were getting the energy creeping up on us.
Routinely there is a strip of 10 tablets of Valium-5 present on the table. We have agreed that should anyone feel the need to abort he can simply take one, two or even four tablets, chew them and keep them under his tongue, no questions asked.
There is no need for macho-ism in Psychedelics, and we veteran geezers (we already were hopped up on Ecstasy when Front 242 fried the dancefloors of the houseparties) know just when a benzo is called for. Now this never happened on E but the safeguard is always present, no questions asked. But ofcourse it was not needed that night. Most benzo-strips expire, as we have little use for them.
Beyond the 3/4-HourPoint the wave hit and we were gripped by the transition which ends the climb and heralds the plateau.
The conversation became sparse and evermore pronounced as our inner minds became more and more manifest.
Suddenly, after a long silence Brother Y spoke.
He told us of how he was systematically abused, savagely abused in his childhood. We knew this, but never before had he been so open about it. We let him speak and listened.
He discovered how he had lost Basic Trust in those years, kept a deep dark secret he felt *ashamed* of as if it were his fault and how this loss of Trust had become ingrained in his everyday personality.
I related the story of my years of childhood abuse and how the road to recovery lies in forgiveness of their ghastly deeds and ultimately, self-acceptance.
Brother X told of how he was teased among his classmates and how he could relate to our feelings of isolation that ensued for such a long time.
Time passed, slipped by hardly noticed, there was just your Self and hypnotic whispers in the Darkness, enhanced and fueled by Brotherly Love and Methylenedioxymethamphetamine.
Now the effect MDMA has on many people is that they can look at themselves as if from a distance, yet intimately connected. It is as if the veil of pain is lifted psychedelically and the past is seen in a new light. This is in fact the use of Ecstasy in psychotherapy.
Finally Brother Y found he had discovered what could be had, told what should be told and the spirit of that night commenced.
I had vivid recollections how I had experienced the demise and cremation ceremony of my mother and related them, and found closure in how she had lived rather then how she had died.
That night carried heavy topics, not at all like a teenage party with blazing music and pot-laden air.
Eventually we let go of our hurts, about two hours into it, and we embarked on our dream of rural living in India or Africa when we are old and gray, after all we're a tight-knit three man cult and three loving couples, two straight families and one gay couple who'll likely adopt, ought to have it good on three farm houses on a nice stretch of land.
And so we discussed, but most of the time we spent in silence, as the Psychedelic Miracle of MDMA occurs within, and the Growth process, aside from being a Group process is first and foremost highly personal.
Despite heavy topics we bathed in the light of a successful MDMA session. We felt strong Euphoria and gained deep, far more personal insights mostly undiscussed. About three hours after ingestion the effect slowly subsided.
Brother X and I popped a single can of beer each and Brother Y rolled himself a good joint. We put on a candle and let ourselves drift out.
At 4:30 AM we were too tired and we each took to our sleeping matrasses and snored well into Monday afternoon.
After psychedelic breakfast we talked some hours, had a brisk walk and then went our seperate ways.
This was the night of the Geezers on Ecstasy.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid.