Ayahuasca (B. caapi & P. viridis)
Citation: Ben. "Gentle Initiation: experience with Ayahuasca (B. caapi & P. viridis) (ID 37637)". Erowid.org. Oct 22, 2004. erowid.org/exp/37637
This report covers three days, the day I made the brew, the day I took it, and the day after. I received 4 oz of B. Caapi and 4 oz of P. Viridis in the mail from an internet company and commenced making it that afternoon. I decided to divide everything into thirds, so I ended up with approximately three 37 gram sections of both plants. Following the general steps outlined in one of the trip reports, 'The Experience' I think but I can't remember for sure, I crushed up the P. Viridis, placed it in a pot and covered in in purified water that I had squeezed half a grapefruit into. I boiled it for 30 minutes, strained through a wire mesh strainer and repeated, this time for 45 minutes. At the same time I placed the crushed (it came that way) B. Caapi vine in another pot and covered it in grapefruit juice water like the viridis. I bioled it for 30 minutes, strained, and repeated for another 30 minutes. I have no idea exactly how much liquid I used, but I seperately boiled down each mixture until I had enough to fill a coffee cup three fourths of the way. I labeled the cups so I couldn't forget which was which and put them in the fridge, intending to take the brew after work the next day.
Around 5pm the next day I got myself situated outside after making sure the dog was fed and all the little life stuff was taken care of so that I didn't have to worry about it while I was tripping. I then stirred up the coffee brown looking B. Caapi brew and drank it quickly, the taste was bad, but not terrible in anyway, holding my nose helped alot. I waited about 20 minutes to let the MAOI do its thing and to see if I had to purge. I felt a small tell-tale feeling in my jaw that means I should throw-up but it went away so I drank the P. Viridis brew. It was dark like coffee but with a reddish tint and it tasted immesureably worse than the caapi. Still, holding my nose made it tolerable, though my body reacted with a few disgust shivers down my spine. I didn't drink it all at once, more like a thord at first, then I had to talk to my grandma on the phone and when that was over I sat looking at the ground beneath an apple tree. I felt the urge to vomit more strongly, but it passed as I saw sinusoidal patterns form and move threw the leaves. I looked at branch next to me and became taken with it's feminine beauty.
Everything was on par with a 3 gram mushroom trip so far. The giddy feeling began and I lay down looking at the sky. Those wonderful DMT crysanthenum patterns I read about covered the sky in evershifting patterns. They seemed to be backed by a pink cloud of somekind and I'm still not sure if it was because it was sunset or if the ayahuasca created the whole thing. I started experiencing what I call 'strobes' in which a strange pulse goes through my body/mind, creating a weird feeling of pleasure, pure intense stimulation and a powerful electric/static charge that flashes through my brain. I love them. With each strobe, the patterns and pink cloud moved close and I could see a pattern forming, in my mind I believed it was a gateway, being brought gentely into my awareness by ayahuasca. Unfortunately, it was cold outside and it took my attention away from it, making it go away and I couldn't get it back. So I drank the rest of the P. Viridis and went in my room and got under the covers.
I feel like ayahuasca made things possible but didn't force them on me, so I searched out the feeling of the strobes and tried to make more of them to bring the strength of the trip up. It worked. I experienced an amazing euphoria all over my body and mind. The feeling of daily life being a bunch of stipid crap that doesn't mean anything was more than strong, it was my complete worldview now. I was someplace else and it was better. My memory of the next 5 or so hours is a little vague because I was in a totally different level of consciousness that doesn't completely translate back into normal consensual reality. But I'll give it a go. I heard south amaerican women singing and drumming and the feeling of moving my feet to the rhythym of their drumming was probably the most pleasurable thing I've ever felt. Not quite sexual, but VERY sensual. I felt an extremely strong nuturing female energy and became one with it, completely without any mental set-backs saying that isn't right since I'm a man or anything similar, I just let go and 'knew'.
Everything was so familiar and comfortable. Fear was completely impossible, a few standard scary images popped up in my mind and they were just so ridiculous I quietly laughed for quite a while. My vision was completely trippy, focus was impossible but unwanted. I saw a shadow on the wall of a tree and patterns danced within it. There were these light lines beautifully outlining everything I saw. But mostly I just closed my eyes and felt. I took off my clothes and held my underwear, completely at a loss as to what they were and completely enjoying the fact. The only negative part of the trip was when my sister came into the room, turned on the light, asking me questions and saying I looked like hell and that my eyes were all pupil. I yelled at her many times 'So what!', 'Yeah, I know dammit, GO AWAY!' I could feel her dissapproval bearing down on me almost as painfully as the light on my optic nerve.
She finally believed that I was cool were I was and left. But that added a little bit of a not-fun vibe to the rest of trip because I kept on thinking about how the dog upstairs is probably sad that I left him alone and the phone rang and made me mad because I just didn't want ANY connection with that reality then. But still, the absolute LOVE I felt for all of them was overwhelming. I kept on thinking 'I'm sorry that I had to leave now, but I love you all so much. I hope you forgive me when I see you tomorrow.' This was directed to everybody I knew because I fully felt that I would never be the same after this and they'd be pissed. At the same time, I didn't care in the slightest about their dissappoval because it was another meaningless bit of the regular world. I thought I was never going to be able to come down, which was fine with me, but around eleven I was mostly back and went upstairs to take care of the dog.
The next day I had a headache on par with getting just a little too drunk the night before, not too bad and COMPLETELY worth it. That whole next day I kept thinking about my experience and wonderful it was and how I wanted a stronger one next time, but I really appreciated how ayahuasca was gentle with me this first time, so that I could trust her completely and go deeper without any pre-fear next time. I especially want to delve within the chrysanthenum gate thing, it was very much a Carlos Casteneda moment that I missed out on. Remember, relax, breath and let go.
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