Citation: yeahididit. "Hell: experience with 5-MeO-DMT (ID 34198)". Erowid.org. Aug 23, 2004. erowid.org/exp/34198
||(powder / crystals)
My girlfriend was at the gym. She had to be gone, because she wouldn't approve of my dabbling in this stuff. After an uncomfortable mushroom trip a year ago involving muscle aches and nausea, and a few unsuccessful attempts to trip on salvia, I was determined to go to a different place.
I tapped out a small amount of the white powder, which looked like it was made of tiny crysals which clumped together. Using the end of a straw, I chopped it all up until fine. It ended up as a very small pile of fine powder about 1.2mm in diameter, and thin. I made two lines and sniffed it up through the straw.
I walked to the kitchen and was noticing the burning sensation up my nose, and wondering if I'd done enough. Then it hit like a f'n bomb. I made my way to the bedroom, and my mind was reeling. Extreme vertigo, like when you get too drunk and the room spins, but much more sudden. More like when you were a kid and went roller skating and fell and your head hit the concrete. Yeah, like my head hit a concrete floor. What have I done! kept going through my mind. I've read other trip reports that describe being shot out of a cannon, and extreme acceleration and speed, and that's exactly what I felt. At 1000x normal speed, I was panicking, but useless. I couldn't see, I couldn't complete a lucid thought other than OH F***. It was OH F*** over and over, about a thousand times a second. At some point I laid on the bed, and blacked out. I experienced extreme fear, even terror. It may have been the paranoia of having Anna come home, but I felt like I was struggling with her or someone, and violently. I kind of came to, and was alone, after what seemed like two hours. What the f happened? Anna should have been home by now. But I was still alone, and jittery like I'd had 4 pots of coffee.
I went to the living room and no Anna there. Oh shit its been hours. She must have been here. Then I saw her purse on the couch. One of the straps was broken. I started adding things up. The struggle was real. She walked in on me freaking out. She was gone - or was she. I called her phone - no answer. I left a panicked message for her to call me. I called her best friend and was demanding to talk with Anna. She insisted Anna wasn't there. I wasn't convinced, because something had gone terribly wrong. I was pacing, panicking, and couldn't sit still. Dreading what I might see, I checked the closet to see if I'd killed Anna and put her there. Nope. I must have struggled with her and she left. Either that or I threw her off the balcony. But there was no way I was going out on the balcony to see. I was peeking out the blinds to see if the cops were coming.
I checked the clock. Forcing myself to focus, I checked the time. It had been about FOUR MINUTES since I used the straw. What have I done? How could I have beaten or killed sweet Anna and changed everything in 4 minutes? I can't go to prison, I have a son to raise. This can't be happening.
Then I caught a break. Anna walked in, and NOTHING seemed wrong with her. She had a good time at the gym, and was home on time. She asked me if I'd called her friend. What happened to your purse????? She casually said, oh, it broke today. I don't think I'll fix it, I'll just get another one.
She was perky, and telling me about the gym. I explained that I made the phone calls because I saw her broken purse strap and thought there was a struggle. Left out the part about I thought it was with me.
Now its been 20 minutes exactly since I snorted it. I'm still a nervous wreck, but trying not to show it. Fortunately Anna gets busy in the kitchen and is on the phone, calling her concerned friend back. I go to take a shower. I'm jittery, nervous, and still on the verge of panic. I run some water, and can't really tell if it's the right temperature, but get in. Then the room starts to get bright, really bright. Suddenly my hair starts to feel like spaghetti. Oh f***, I am still tripping. I call Anna three times. If she pops her head in I will feel better. She doesn't come. Oh no, I'm stuck in this nightmare. What did I do to her? Or am I just stuck forever in this bad dream? I put a towel on and went out wet, to find her in the kitchen, still on the phone and making too much noise to hear me calling.
Enough shower. I can't take the water and what remains of the dizziness together. I walk around in my towel, and I'm sweating. My heart is racing. I look in the mirror and I'm very very red. Oh shit, I'm still going to die, maybe of a heart attack. Its been about 35 minutes now since I took the MeO. I try to reason with myself, other trip reports say you return to normal within 30-60 minutes. I want to tell Anna to take me to the hospital, and let the docs try to save me. I weigh that against waiting it out, and maybe dying. My HMO will surely tell my employer. Maybe I'll be out of a job. Can't risk it. I wait. I feel nausea coming, so I tell Anna I don't feel well and ready myself over the toilet. I have a couple of dry heaves. Then I feel like I need to dump. I mean it feels like I need to pass a brick. I sit down, but nothing. I don't want to push, in this condition I might try too hard and blow out my colon.
In a few more minutes, I am calmer, Anna feeds me steak, broccoli and rice, and I think about what might have happened. I'm looking at her in a whole new way. Maybe this life isn't so bad, and maybe its a lot better than trying to avoid it with MeO. Its been 10 days now. I think I'm back to my old self. For the first couple of days I felt ill while drinking wine, but I'm over it. I wouldn't wish this experience on a friend, that's for sure. I think I'll stick with beer for now.
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