At about five o'clock in the afternoon I took ten caffeine pills and washed them down with a bit of cheap wine (not much more than a mouthful so I was sober). I was at a train station and had to wait an irritating amount of time for a train.
The caffeine hit suddenly and I realised my leg was shaking. At about five thirty the train arrived and I had an odd sensation that the train station was moving but not the train (if that makes any sense). I got on the train and sat down. When I looked out the window at the green plants zooming past I had a small amount of colour distortion. Everything had a tinge of yellow or grey to it. A strong euphoria set in that I can only compare to codeine. I felt like I was melting into the chair and whenever part of me twitched it felt like it was made of water.
Once I got off the train and entered the masses of humans at the train station my mood suddenly changed. I had a sudden dislike for almost everyone and glared at anyone who made eye contact with me. My view of life suddenly changed and I thought only weird people were worth talking to. I hated people for not rejecting the morals of society and truly becoming themselves. I thought conformists were just idiots.
That was my view on the world for about ten minutes and then suddenly I believed everyone was just born to kill me and I feared everyone. I looked no one in the eye and walked fast, really fast.
After about half an hour of chemical paranoia I got distracted by some fireworks. One thing about a large dose of caffeine is it can make everything look cooler. Every time a firework exploded I had difficulty focusing on it and it seemed to grow and shrink like it was breathing.
From then on things died down and I felt physically weak and tired as I had probably over-exerted myself. I also began to get a bizarre anticipation that something dramatic would happen (nothing did). Once home I had difficulty sleeping but felt fully energized after two hours sleep.
After this event (which was my first experiment with caffeine) I had a fascination with the drug. I experimented with addiction, withdrawal, good dosage and over dosage. The largest amount I ever took was 4 grams [EROWID NOTE: 4 grams is a high dose] which caused severe organ pain and put me in the sort of mind frame that made me intentionally force a safety pin through my thumb.
