Ayahuasca (B. caapi & P. viridis)
Don,t try this at home. Really. This is some heavy, heavy stuff. Only experienced psychonauts should play in this playing field, you could lose all your sanity and never come back, I suspect.
I had an incredible time. I was attending a conference in Brazil, run by Luis Eduardo Luna and Alex Grey. Lifestyles of the rich and psychonaut, basically. Luna administered the dose. While we were starting to come up he wandered around the room chanting and shaking a rattle. At approximately one hour, the Ayahuasca hit like a freight train, I felt alien entities watching me closely, visuals unlike any I've ever experienced unfolded behind my closed eyelids. While I was coming up I got flashes from my dreams, from dreams I had forgotten, and images from ID4, of the small ship containing Jeff and Will, inside the mother ship.
Once the aliens showed up, they gently but mercilessly opened me up and examined my innards, sifting through my mind and discussing the results with each other. The general sense I got was 'what can we make of this one?' I was ushered into some weird state where I was told to play with my body, to see it for what it is: meat. I slid my hands into my arms and twanged my tendons and veins like guitar strings. I reached a hand down my throat and played with my stomach lining. I put my fingers into my eye sockets and popped my eyeballs out, feeling the pain of the act as the eyes dangled on my cheeks. At this point, I was so far gone that I honestly did not know whether I had really done so or not, I thought I had put my eyes out in reality and that now I would be shown great wisdom as a rewards. I pulled my earrings through my ear lobes, again thinking I had done it in reality.
When I came out of this, I was treated to insights about my ex lover, who I have had a terrible time g etting over. It was shown to me that he is my soulmate, that he and I will never be free of each other, though we can not be lovers in this life. I was both sad and joyful at this and lay on the groung outside, singing songs to the stars. I was singing very freely, after many years of not singing.
I began to weep for Gaia, for what we have done to her. I promised her that I would protect and heal her. I smeared earth all over myself, not fearful of the insects that crawled all over me. (it is necessary to note that before the Aya I had a bug phobia) I ran wild in thenight, growling and clawing the ground as a cat spirit. I kissed and held a young palm, she was so beautiful. I was, in short, high as a fucking kite, running amok in the beautiful playground that is planet earth.
And there are five more sessions to type up. A very very intense week. I changed in ways both subtle and profound. Thank you, Mama Aya, you are the most astonishing metaprogramming tool I have ever encountered and I am profoundly grateful for the wisdom you shared with me.
