Citation: Steph. "I Hate Myself: experience with Morning Glory (Heavenly Blue) & DXM with CPM (ID 30348)". Erowid.org. Apr 2, 2008. erowid.org/exp/30348
| DOSE: T+ 0:00 |
7.2 g |
oral |
Morning Glory |
(seeds) |
| T+ 1:00 |
90 mg |
oral |
DXM |
(pill / tablet) |
[Erowid Warning: Most Coricidin contains CPM (Chlorpheniramine Maleate) which can be dangerous in high doses. See DXM Brand Warnings for more info.]
I had some experience with acid before and had heard of morning glory and wanted to give it a shot. I bought 4 packs of heavenly blue. The brand has no chemicals and I didn't experience any nausea, although my stomach swelled 5 whole inches and was enourmously uncomfortable. I didn't prepare them at all, just chewed them thouroghly. Within an hour I was seeing walls breathing and moving, but I wanted something a little stronger, so I took 3 coricin cold and cough pills, which I have much experience with and is a low dose for me.
After than, it was an endless nightmare. The hallucinations were primarily mental, seeing myself as everything I hate. I was recounting all the stupid things I've ever done, all the bad mistakes, and if it wasn't one negative thought, it was another. I felt like all the things I had every done, my personality, everything had been to compensate for being ugly, or selfish, or what have you, and there seemed to be no end. I saw the trip as analogous to my present perception of my life, just one downward cycle. I'm not one who is particularly self-loathing, and have reasonably healthy self-esteem, but all the fears I had overcame years ago came flooding back.
The music was very much in reverb and echo. I began to listen to artists I thought were multi-dimensional and spoke the truth. Soon I began to paint, which eased some of the panic, colors and texture were extremely vivid. But I couldn't escape the thoughts I had had earlier, and then my belief in myself as an artist began to dwindle.
Eventually, I woke up and realized I had been missing an hour of time. The last thing I remeber was thinking about suicide and how I wanted it to end, but didn't want to hurt my love ones. When I came to, I saw my hand had been cut pretty deeply and there was blood all over my bed. I have no idea how this happened.
I really underestimated the power of MG, and don't think I had prepared myself enough. Definately an intense trip.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid.
