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The Scariest Experience of My Life
LSD, Cannabis & Alcohol
Citation:   Wickedboy_poland. "The Scariest Experience of My Life: An Experience with LSD, Cannabis & Alcohol (exp29601)". Erowid.org. Feb 10, 2007. erowid.org/exp/29601

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
0.5 hits oral LSD (blotter / tab)
  T+ 1:30 1.0 g smoked Cannabis (plant material)
  T+ 5:00 2 shots oral Alcohol - Hard (liquid)
BODY WEIGHT: 210 lb
EXPERIENCE LEVEL AT THE TIME OF THE TRIP: marijuana (daily, chronic user), LSD (4 trips), mushrooms (5), XTC (7 times)

I believe I have to add something from me here, so that others can read and think for themselves :-) but I am writing this not only for the others to see but also for me - to get it off my chest and to be able to come to terms with that was the by far SCARIEST experience of my life. It might be lengthy but it is MY story so I will try to give you the most accurate report.

OK, now for some introduction- (dating back to 1998)

I live in Poland, am 23 at the moment. It wasn't until after my 18th birthday when I began experimenting with drugs. I went on winter holidays with my friends. Until then, I only drank beer and vodka and that's it. I didn't even smoke cigarettes. During our 7-day stay in Austria, my friends convinced me to smoke some pot. I thought 'What the heck?' and tried it. I didn't feel much the first time, but eventually I loved that shit :-) and after about 1 year of occasional smoking I have developed a habit of daily smoking which lasts until now. :-)

### 4 years later ###

I have a girlfriend, Mary (she was 22 at the time), whom I love and care for. We went through a lot together. It is January. Mary's parents decided to visit their friends and we had an empty house for ourselves, except for Mary's younger brother who was 17, for like 7-8 hours until we had to drive to get them back from the party which was on the outskirts of our city (this is important, will be explained later). Because I had some acid we decided to drop it that day and drive for Mary's parents after it comes down.

OK, so it was about 16:00 when we split the blotter in half and held it under our tongues. Mary's brother picked up some friends of his (3 guys of his age). He doesn't smoke weed, doesn't do any drugs, only alcohol. So they bought some cheap liquor and started drinking.

Mary invited some of her friends, but nobody showed up until 17:00 when only a couple came (Michael & Dorothy). OK, so until like 17:30 nothing was really happening. We had a laugh here and there, but no visual no trippy thoughts no nothing. Being a chronic heavy weed smoker :-) I proposed smoking some pot from what you would call a 'crack pipe' in the U.S. This is a very popular way of smoking weed in Poland - and a very efficient one. OK, so we took a couple of hits from the 'crack pipe' of what was very good quality skunk, but 15 minutes later, still nothing was happening. Then Michael proposed doing some bucket hits (gravity bong). I agreed. He did everything, set up the bucket, filled it with water, prepared the plastic bottle, etc.
We took a huge glass pipe and filled it with approx. 0.5g of the skunk. He did the set-up and I was the first one to take the hit. OK, so I took it, big deal.






OK, I was able to breathe again. I felt the hit, but still nothing was happening. Now it was Mary's turn. She turned to me and said 'Maybe I shouldn't do this' and then I said 'No, it's prefectly okay, do it'. She was hesitating but she took the hit.
And then...

THE SCARIEST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE BEGAN...

She took the bucket hit and she didn't cough. She turned red. Her whole face was red. She looked at me. She couldn't even cough it out. She couldn't breathe. Meanwhile, my hit started really affecting me. Everything slowed down 10x. Trails were starting to appear. My heart was beating veeery fast, way too fast. I was really scared, but it was only the beginning.

Now Mary looks at me and I see terror and a silent scream in her eyes 'Help me I can't breathe'. I take her to her room. She's trying to show me that she can't breathe, she can't cough that shit out. A 'movie' starts forming in my head. I gave her the acid, I convinced her to do the hit, now I am responsible and she looks like she's dying in front of me. I make her sit on her bed and look deeply in her eyes. 'Do you want me to call an ambulance?'. She shakes her head. Mary's father is a policeman so my terror was overtaking me. Now thoughts of guilt and fear start overtaking my mind.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, she exhaled a cloud of smoke and started crying. The thoughts in my head were even worse now 'Why is she crying? What did I do to her?'. This became almost psychotic. I sat beside her on the bed and that was when the bucket hit really affected me. Everything suddenly went 2D, cartoon-like. I didn't see any depth in my vision. It was like falling away from a flat screen. I didn't know it was the weed. I felt extremely petrified. My girlfiend's hands grew veeeeeeeeeery long and suddenly I couldn't recognize her.

'Who is this girl?' I though. Then she looked like my English teacher, then like my mother, then like some other girl. 'Who is she?' I though. 'Who am I?' was another thought. Terror. Fear. 'What is happening? How am I going to survive in a 2D world'? It was 18:10, approx. 5 mins after my bucket hit.

My girlfriend stood up and I tried to say something 'happy' to cheer her up or just to ground us because I saw my fear in her eyes. I said 'We are on LSD, we are coming up'. And then I felt it. Oh My God!!! I couldn't understand it then, but it felt like things were happening just as I was saying them. I said 'We are coming up into higher dimensions'. And I felt it. I knew that we both felt it. It was like we were becoming ONE MIND. We tried talking, but that didn't help. It was like:

ME: What...
MARY: is happening?
ME: I...
MARY: know
ME: How...?
MARY: I don't know. But...
ME: what...
MARY: is happening?

Looping conversations leading to the starting point. We couldn't get out of this situation. So we decided to go outside. Going through the corridor was scary, but when we came out, I was petrified. Suddenly, EVERYTHING in my field of vision started leaving LONG trails. Now imagine turning your head and not being able to recognize anything because everything was covered with trails. I held Mary as we stood near the door. I looked at her. It was completely dark, but I saw her face glowing with light. She later told me she saw the same but she also saw my thoughts as 'dreadlocks' coming from my hair to the back of my skull. :-/

So we were standing outside in the dark and she said 'Honey, I'm so scared'. Well, so was I. 'Don't worry' I said 'We are in the matrix'. And then I felt it again. We were a couple hanging inside the matrix which was infinite and a light breeze was blowing.

It was so scary that we decided to head back into the house. When we closed the door, suddenly a question came out of nowhere 'WHO AM I?'. I was walking with Mary to her room and I couldn't recognize where is up, down, left or right. I suddenly felt like Johny Depp in 'Fear and Loathing...' when he was walking like a madman, and I understood him :-) why he was walking like that.

We came back to the room and Mary just laid on her bed. I desperately wanted to keep track of time, so I looked at my cellphone. It was 18:17. This was SCARY as for me eternity has passed, ages, but it was only 7 mins. :-( I turned on the stopwatch and look at it and I was petrified. There was the hour counter, minute counter, second counter and 100ths of seconds counter which looked like this 00:00:00.74 etc. Now normally the 100ths of seconds go so fast you can't even see them. I saw them like 00.16,00.18,00.20,00.22... now I though 'If this is the way I feel 100ths of seconds, how the fuck am I going to survive a couple of hours until the acid comes down?'.

Mary asked my 'Honey, what is happening?' She had no clue. I told her 'We have to survive 45 minutes until the peak is over'. I had an idea to put on some music, one CD, until it all comes down a bit. So I took Lauryn Hill 'miseducation' and I put it on. When you take this cd and listen to it, when you put on the intro, there is a ring, like 'rrrrrrrrring' for a few seconds. For me it was an everlasting 'rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring' which couldn't end so I turned the CD player off.

Terror, fear, guilt, all were in me. I couldn't bear it. I went to another room, where Mary's brother's friends were driking. They had some different music. I danced to it (I DON'T DANCE AT ALL usually) and I was like a visualizer from Winamp. I danced for what seemed like minutes, but Mary's brother told me later it was like 6 or 7 seconds :-)

I came back to Mary and sat with her. I suddenly saw 'tunnels' of thoughts in my head. There was a small 'bubble' flowing through these tunnels. I concentrated on the bubble and everything disappeared and only the 'bubble' stayed. I mean I felt a bubble (as a mathematical point with no dimension) in my head and INFINITE space in each direction. This was the peak.

Eventually we came down at around 21:00 (3 hours later), had to drive to pick up Mary's parents, which was like 20 miles but felt like driving from New York to San Francisco. I had a couple of shots of vodka still a bit high on acid and with my pupils huge as pizza plates :-). Its funny no one noticed that :-)

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

The funny thing is Mary's brother's friends were all drunk and vomitting around 20:00 and they came back to life at 21:00, they woke up exactly at the time we came down.

Exp Year: 2002ExpID: 29601
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 10, 2007Views: 13,617
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LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : Combinations (3), Music Discussion (22), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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