The other night I was at my father's house watching some TV. My father doesn't know I smoke, but I usually sneak off to the bathroom and have one, because the fan in his bathroom sucks air out through the roof.
So there I was, on the couch, and I felt the need for a smoke, I hadn't had one in about 7 hours and normally I can't go more than one hour without having one. My father was asleep in his chair (as usual), so I got up and went to the bathroom.
Once I got to the bathroom I closed and locked the door behind me, and turned on the fan. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled, for I knew I was finally going to have a smoke.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my pack and my lighter, but to my surprise, when I opened the pack I saw that it was EMPTY!!
I almost lost my sanity at that moment, for I couldn't just take one of my father's, because he smokes ULTRA LIGHTS and I smoke REGULARS, which is a huge difference for those of you who don't know what I am talking about.
I was jonesing hard, and if I smoked an Ultra Light that wouldn't do anything for me, in fact it would only piss off my jones. Then I remembered I had money in my bank account, so I had to sneak out of the house, because my dad would want to know where the hell I was going at 11 o'clock at night.
I jumped into my car and started to drive, but the problem was, I couldn't think of any 24 hour places that were nearby where I could go to buy smokes with my ATM card.
So I drove 5 miles to a gas station, went in and asked for a pack. I started to feel relief, for I knew that I would soon be having my long-awaited smoke.
But -
when I opened my wallet I discovered my ATM card wasn't there!!! Panic suddenly surged through every fiber of my being when I realised I was not going to have my smoke. I left the store disappointed in the fact that I would most likely need to wait another 2 DAYS before I could have one.
Then I started to wonder where my ATM card could be, unable to concentrate fully due to the lack of nicotine in my system. Then I had a vision of myself wearing shorts and purchasing something with my card, then I saw myself put the card in the back pocket of those shorts, instead of back in my wallet.
And I knew exactly where those shorts were, back at my house in my bedroom, on the floor. But my house was on the complete other side of town, and I can't afford to be wasting gas like that.
So I got back into my car and decided that it was best if I just went back to my father's house and tried to ignore my addiciton. So I started to drive, thinking about all the good times I have had with a cigarette in my hand.
Then I noticed that I had been driving for a long time, much longer than it should have taken me to get back to my father's house. And when I looked around, the neighborhood looked familiar... NOOO! I WAS DRIVING BACK TO MY HOUSE!!!
Needless to say, I was very upset that I had driven there without realizing it, but I figured, since I am here, I might as well get my card. So I ran in, went to my bedroom, grabbed the shorts and extracted my ATM card.
I ran back to my car, jumped in and proceeded to haul ass back to my father's house, because he could have woken up at any minute and seen that I wasn't there, and I didn't want him to know I went all the way back to my house.
I decided to stop off at the gas station on my way back, and I made it there in record time. I wasn't paying attention to how fast I was going, but I know I was exceeding the speed limit.
I ran in, purchased my items, ran out, and tore the plastic off that pack faster than I have ever done before, opened the box, ripped out that metalic paper crap, pulled out a cigarette, put it in my mouth, and lit it up
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I felt such relief at finally getting my fix! Then I went back to my father's house, fully prepared with an outrageous (yet believeable) story of why I had been gone so long (thankfully, I could think straight with nicotine back in my system) and when I walked in the door...
...He was still asleep.
