Citation: Murple. "Finding Purpose: experience with 5-MeO-DMT (ID 2361)". Erowid.org. Sep 8, 2000. erowid.org/exp/2361
Tonight I think I found the answer to part of the question that last night's trip ('Horrifying') so forcefully put to me.
B, C and T came by and we decided to smoke some 5-MeO-DMT. C had already tried it and T was unsure, so B went first. She got the first, biggest hit, and after taking it smiled and closed her eyes for the journey. C went next, and reacted the same. I readied another hit and asked T if she wanted to try it, and she changer her mind again and said yes. I took one myself right after her. I was just about to take off when T began to panic. She said she was scared and couldn't breathe, and thought she was dying. I remembered last night's hellride, and empathized. I put my hand on her knee and said 'You're OK, try to breathe evenly.' She grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go. I got behind her on the bed to hold her up and kept trying to reassure her. She kept saying how afraid she was, and looked and sounded like a frightened child.
All the while I was peaking myself. She became the focal point of my universe, my whole existence was to try to comfort her. My body, such as I was aware of it, fused with hers, and my mind existed only to anchor this frightened being I'd merged with. It was as if I'd dissolved myself into a spiritual shield around her. As I began to reintegrate, I knew I'd found purpose. Friendship, love, sharing. As our peaks wore off, we all just laid on my bed talking about the experience. It was a beautiful thing. The sound of the wind and someone's windchimes through my window was tangible. After a while, T and I walked up to the supermarket. The night was cool and crisp, the stars bright, the air clean. Life is good.
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