Citation: Murple. "Finding Purpose: experience with 5-MeO-DMT (ID 2361)". Erowid.org. Sep 8, 2000. erowid.org/exp/2361
Tonight I think I found the answer to part of the question that last night's trip ('Horrifying') so forcefully put to me.
B, C and T came by and we decided to smoke some 5-MeO-DMT. C had already tried it and T was unsure, so B went first. She got the first, biggest hit, and after taking it smiled and closed her eyes for the journey. C went next, and reacted the same. I readied another hit and asked T if she wanted to try it, and she changer her mind again and said yes. I took one myself right after her. I was just about to take off when T began to panic. She said she was scared and couldn't breathe, and thought she was dying. I remembered last night's hellride, and empathized. I put my hand on her knee and said 'You're OK, try to breathe evenly.' She grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go. I got behind her on the bed to hold her up and kept trying to reassure her. She kept saying how afraid she was, and looked and sounded like a frightened child.
All the while I was peaking myself. She became the focal point of my universe, my whole existence was to try to comfort her. My body, such as I was aware of it, fused with hers, and my mind existed only to anchor this frightened being I'd merged with. It was as if I'd dissolved myself into a spiritual shield around her. As I began to reintegrate, I knew I'd found purpose. Friendship, love, sharing. As our peaks wore off, we all just laid on my bed talking about the experience. It was a beautiful thing. The sound of the wind and someone's windchimes through my window was tangible. After a while, T and I walked up to the supermarket. The night was cool and crisp, the stars bright, the air clean. Life is good.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid.
