H.B. Woodrose
by H.
Last night I ingested seven HBWR seeds, my first experience with a drug of such powerful psychoactive components. I tried to grind off the poisonous outer fuzz and stuff with a nail file, but it was too difficult and I was impatient to start tripping, so I just threw them in a cup of hot water for about twenty minutes and then chewed them up and swallowed them. (I had smoked quite a bit of MJ about five hours before, so my judgement probably wasn't the absolute best.) This was at 11:00 PM.
For awhile I tried to watch a movie, but by midnight I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I fell asleep and woke up into a nightmare.
My boyfriend, who knew I had ingested the seeds, called me at 1:06 AM. I will always remember the time because I remember sitting on the edge of my bed staring at the clock and realizing that I had a phone in my hand and not remembering picking it up and answering it, and hearing my own voice speaking in a complete and scary monotone that I had never heard out of my own mouth before. When I got up and walked around, I couldn't feel my body, very similar to DXM. I experienced complete ego-death. When I looked in the mirror, the horror I felt at seeing my own reflection is indescribable, simply because I no longer looked like myself. I had no control whatsoever over my face, and it was completely blank and stoned, except for my eyes, which had the hugest pupils I have ever seen and looked absolutely terrified. I couldn't control what I was saying into the phone, but my voice was saying in a flat, dead-sounding monotone, 'I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I shouldn't be this deep. I don't belong here.'
At about 4:30 in the morning, I still wasn't coming down. I knew I had to get ready for school, but the nausea that I had been feeling ever since swallowing the seeds wasn't only not going away, it was getting worse. My body was revolting against the intrusion, and if I hadn't been numb I suppose I would have been in a lot of pain. Finally, when I took a sip of water, the dam broke. I immediately began vomiting, so quickly I couldn't even make it to the trash can, and threw up all over the floor and my backpack and even my dresser a couple of feet away. Over and over again, I threw up, until finally I was vomiting so forcefully that it was forced out the other end as well. I somehow made it to the bathroom after that. For about an hour and a half solid my body threw these seeds out of itself in any and all ways possible. When I could finally move without intense, crippling nausea and intestinal pain, I staggered around cleaning up and finally dropped into bed at about 6:00 AM. I skipped school today, of course, using a cold I've had for a few days as an excuse.
More than twenty-four hours later, I am still incredibly weak. I'm also dehydrated, slow, and uncoordinated, and my body feels about three times heavier than it should be. I would give almost anything to have not taken these seeds, not just for the absolutely horrifying physical side effects, but for the terror of the bad trip.
