Citation: kid. "Some Lies, Some Unpleasant Truths: experience with Heroin (ID 21253)". Erowid.org. Feb 12, 2003. erowid.org/exp/21253
This is not your fatherís junk
Well, I guess I should start from the start. I am a 31yo male from the Boston area, raised by the WAR-ON- drUgS and Nancy Reaganís ďJUST SAY NOĒ rhetoric in this our free (police) states of the united. Brought up with a steady diet of propaganda and falsehoods. I had been (mis) lead to believe that drugs in any form (other that the ones the state can effectively tax and regulate) would cause death or demise at the onset of the first digestion i.e. the typical refer-madness syndrome. Smoking a joint will cause you to hallucinate trying H (heroin) just once will cause addiction.
The exaggerated denomination I must admit worked- (when I was a child and was in no danger of experimentation for lack of money and any type of connection) However, as I got older and the lies became clear it was like loosing your faith. I assumed that if they had lied to me about smoking this joint what else had they lied about? I had lifted this blind fold in the seventh grade, first trying weed graduating to coke a year later still later LSD, MESCILIN, PSYLOCIBIN etc. having gradually incorporated these drugs into my resume` it had become abundantly clear that every thing they had thought was a lie, one huge exaggeration. The only thing that I had not tried was HEROIN and PCP (I still have never done PCP I figure Iíll save the embalming fluid for when Iím dead) heroin still had the stigma of being dirty and diseased carried over from the 70ís and early 80ís.
At this point I was out of high school and had set myself up with quite the profitable import/export business (drug dealing) I was procuring all the above that I had mentioned for a large group of friends and friends of friends. Circa 1994 I had set up an operation with some acquaintances that were shipping large quantities of very kind bud from San Diego. These were clean cut guys with money in their pockets, girls, cars, and the whole deal. So it was to my surprise when one night they pulled these little plastic bags from their pockets (with a cute little devil holding a pitchfork) and started snorting them.
I inquired and the informed me that it was heroin. WHAT!!! These were not dirty scumbag junkies, they were not pulling out little kits w/glass syringes that had to be assembled like some kind of sniper rifle in a dark dingy hotel room w/roaches and a bright neon sign blinking in the window! How could they be doing heroin?
Was heroin just another lie? Here were young men, in all appearances your typical American (well minus (or maybe not) the fact they sold huge quantities of Mary Jane) guys doing H and living what seemed to be a normal none addicted lives. Well I donít have to tell you Ė it didnít take a twisting of the arm to get me to indulge. My friend, (and I use the term loosely anyone who would turn someone on to smack is not a friend) opened one of the little bags split it into two lines handed me a rolled hundred dollar bill and I snorted.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!! This was the best high I had ever experienced. HOLY SHIT I was wrecked. Although, every time I even thought of moving I was running to the toilet throwing my guts out (I think this should have been a sign) but when I was still it was the best feeling I had ever had. Better than sex. I was hooked- but not in the addicted sense of the word: I guess it better said that I was in LOVE.
And, I continued this love affair for about a year. Snorting on weekends, taking a couple grams on a week vacation. I used the wonder drug to enhance whatever significant event I had planed- swinging parties or other notable sexual encounter, nights at my favorite fetish club (the man-ray) things of that nature. This stuff was harmless! Once again the fascist, monarchal, police state in which we live had mislead its people in another New Deal neo-Nazi National Socialist Party propaganda campaign. With my third eye now armed with new clarity I would never again fall victim.
Approximately a year Ė year and a half later I found myself surrounded with people who also enjoyed the love of lady H. although their love affair had lead to engagement. And then, marriage some years ago as she was now injecting herself in them daily- even hourly. As I had mentioned this started in 94 now late 95.
The H on the street in Lowell (which is were the best stuff in ma. Was at the time) had a purity level of between 80 and 94%. I know this due to the fact that people were dropping like flies and the city took it upon them selves to test the dope. And like all good junkies when we heard of an OD the fist thing we asked was what was the stamp on the bag? (Not for the obvious reasons (to stay away) but for the junkie reason Ė so we could get some.) Anyway, my friends were getting higher off one bag shooting than I was off four bags snorting. So, I was just a matter of economics that I start shooting.
I was hooked. This time in the addicted sense of the word- the very addicted sense. It didnít take long before I went from having a monkey on my back to having a gorilla. I was an out of control junkbox I was soon shooting enough to kill a horse. After over dosing on many occessions (too many to count) having a girl die on my twice and escalating my drug use to include shooting speed balls, straight coke, MDMA and what ever else I could fit in a syringe or stuff in my face.
Doing H from Canada to Mexico and everywhere in-between. I am now clean and have been at least a hundred times since. I battle with my addiction every day of my life- and will till the day that I die. (I just pray that Iím not addicted to junk at the time.) In conclusion I guess everything was a lie. What my parents and the government told me was a lie, what I told myself as a result was a lie, and heroin was the biggest lie. I think if I was told the truth- if it was told to me straight: I think I could have made better more informed decisions about what and how I put substances into my body.
But they canít tell you the truth. GOD forbids they might put ideas in your head. GOD forbid they might come down from their catholicities and admit that man has freewill Ė that the hear no evil do no evil pedophile priest mentality does not and has not worked. Education is a strong force, educate yourself, and educate your children.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid.