I was going through a rough time where past experiences in my life were coming back to haunt me at an intolerable rate. I was severely depressed and ready to cave at any given time. I guess you could say that I was like a walking time bomb ready to detonate without warning.
One night after returning from the drugstore, I had decided to take the trip that would leave me wondering for the rest of my life WHY I ever did this. I took my journal and printed in a very detailed manner of what I took, when, where, why I thought that I should take it and a note to myself:
S: Remember that this is only a high and what you see, hear and probably do, is all a high. It is not real Good luck and see you when you crash! Well I can say that I still have that note and it is not a favorite past time to read that over and over.
At about 9:00 pm on Apr/11th/2001 I took all at one time 10 Gravol. Two hours later I took 5 more. These were 50 mg pills so that's 750 mg. I may have taken more but that is so clouded in my memory that I will never know to this day.
Getting off took a long time and I can say that to this day the temptation is still there. I have in the recent past taken a few and regretted it very much.
At the time of this experience I was taking Trazodone 150 mg dose at night for sleeping. But I was not addicted. I took the Gravol to get the high.
The night that I took all of these pills I had the hallucinations of a lifetime. I was the judge of a beauty pageant and the girls I saw walk through my bedroom were probably the most beautiful in the world. I talked to my father about building me a house and where I wanted to have it built.(he is a carpenter) I was alone for a while because my boyfriend worked late nights.
He came home to a messed up girlfriend I can tell you that. I managed to hide it all till the next day when I was making sense out of everything (so I thought) When I woke to the Simpsons on my bedroom ceiling! I was seeing colors that were never in the rainbow and I had another conversation with an aunt who I thought had just got off and the airport. I saw her come down the escalator. I went through this all day when my boyfriend came home from school. (College) I was saying that I was loosing my mind and that I needed to go to the hospital.
He thought that I was acting strange and said that I should go and lay down for a while. So I did. I got up that evening after he went to work again and called one of my friends. There was cats everywhere and I did not know what to do! I was in the panic of a lifetime. I did all I could do not to go all crazy. I knew that I was alone in the house and no one could come to my rescue. I got off the phone with my friend and called my boyfriend's mother. She had his father there in a few minutes to come and get me. We were just out in the driveway when my boyfriend was pulling up in the car. I went with my boyfriend to the emergency room at the hospital. They filled out a form that said that I needed psychiatric assessment.
We went back to his parent's house for the night to rest. The next day I woke screaming 'Get me a bucket!' I tried to get out of bed but I had no feeling in my legs. With that I was rushed into the mental hospital by my boyfriend. I stayed four days and I can tell you that I will never do this again!
