About 6 months ago, I was prescribed a drug called zopiclone, to help my severe insomnia - a perfect drug? The ironic thing is that this drug did not really help me sleep - it took me too a drunken place where my emotions where numb from the outside world, caused euphoria, inhibition removal, a very specific and plesent taste coming up my throat, and very relaxed muscle and body high - but it did not help my insomnia! Every night for about 2 months I took this drug, and experianced the same extremely plesent although mild high..... What I should have done was just shut up and keep getting high off these sleeping tablets in a sensible way..... But unfortunatley, this drug seems to have a high risk of abuse - I started taking double the dose which instead of doubling the effects completley fucked me up - I experianced total amnesia, for two hour periods I had no memory of what happend.
One night when I had a friend around, I took 3 times the maximum dose after a drinking session, I have no memory of what happened after the third tablet, until 3 hours later looking at the clock, in a panicking state, I had tried to get my friends to take them and I am sure I made a fool of myself! Bbut it did not stop their either, one afternoon knowing I had a very emotionally difficult meeting with my father that evening, I took 7.5mg knowing it would remove my inhibitions and make me feel better. I stumbled out of the door and met with my father. I came out extremely distraught and somewhat suicidal - I came back, and in a cry for attention from my father, nearly commited suicide on some prozac lying around the house.....
As with any mind altering drug, it directly effects the way I deal with situations, this may seem like a positive thing, but its NOT allways so..... Due to abusing a pharmacutical I had nearly comitted suicide - this was a scary thought, and the next day I went to the doctors and said that they were not helping and could I try something diffirent.... 4 months (and a shit load of drugs) later, I am seriously annoyed with myself - I had removed a free source of a very fun drug :(
Thinking about the way I had over-abused this drug now, does not seem as bad - if I could get a source now I am sure I would be able to keep things under control.... Although it does not seem like much from my description, this was a fantastic drug, and I miss it very much (in an entirly non-addictive way). Is zopiclone a pefect drug, NO, there is no perfect drug! (there are allways side effects and problems) - allthough, if used sensibily I think it comes damn close.
'Thanks for listening to my mindless ramblings....'
