Citation: LKT. "My Only Companion the Door: experience with Ketamine (ID 18296)". Erowid.org. Aug 12, 2005. erowid.org/exp/18296
||(powder / crystals)
As we sat in the gloomy pale sitting room staring into space, our minds had decided that the first hit was not nearly enough to satisfy our needs for more.
We had come to a fork in our journey, two paths lay ahead, the choice was ours.
One path would lead us to tranquility and still calm but is this what we needed? This path was an opportunity to leave the group and break free back into the world of the living. The path followed a relatively straight chalk road which we could see led through green rich fields of peace and sanity, I could see a plainly dressed figure standing, waiting, anticipating the move; should I take this road?
I look around, the other path appears nearer but is it? It stems out in front of me offering such pleasures. This route was twisty, hard on the foot and offered possibilities of wearyness worse than ever before. I strain my eyes to attempt to focus on the objects many miles away down this path; what are they? A strange overwelming feeling engulfs my quivering mind. What lies ahead if this path is my chosen route?
Minutes, Hours, Days of deliberating; how long must this decision take? Voices from the others are soon drowned out only second to the throbbing repetitive rhythm my mind had composed to trick me. Should the path for tonight be the clear clean and tranquil walk into sleep or... or...
Before a decision had been made, i felt my hand reaching for the powder so close. This would help me contemplate the fate, this would finalise any quander I had previously been having. A line was presented, this ultimately was the path I had chosen, although looking back was this really a decision?
It was too late to retreat. It was too late for 'I wish I had' thoughts. I had chosen my path, were the others following? My cares for the group had vanished. I could see that the road I had taken was a solitary one.
I started to wonder along the path of black tarmac into the night. A feeling was creeping over what was once the brain that controlled every decision, every thought, every feeling. I knew that there was no longer a return to normality, although I didnt care, I didnt feel anything for the world that was once true to my heart.
I stopped walking, stood still I could hear a shuddering but could see nothing. Was I visually impaired? The shuddering got louder. Louder. Louder.
I looked around, nothing, the path that I had travelled was no longer behind me; all that remained was an empty chasm of black. What had happened to the reality I had once known? An explosion. A speech defying explosion from the root of my mind, an electrocution stemming from the nerve endings in my brain had engulfed the sensors which once controlled my vision of reality.
My mind had become open. Open to a new reality. Open to a new vision. Sounds, Sounds were the only thing I could sense, vision was returning but I couldn't see. Where was I, had I entered hell?
My sight was back. I was standing on a cliff. Nothing behind me to backaway to. I looked up. What the fuck is this? Facing me was a rotating door but it wasn't rotating. I was faced with another choice. Was this wise, my previous choice had led me from a distant past into this. Fuck it. My mind was telling me I wasn't alive as I believed the meaning of alive represented but the faint throbbing from my chest advised that my heart was the only thing keeping me from the brink of eternal indicedence.
I pushed the door. I had spun the black circle. My feet took firm control, though I went out the other side, into something else.
I was back in the sitting room but was it the sitting room I had once been used to? The people were still there, the furniture was identical to the items that were imported from the parsonage but. But. No movement. The once lively figures that once stood with me at the fork in the path of the evening sat still. Lifeless. There was a sound of music, was it music? was it me? I turned. The rotating door was there. The corner of the room was not the passageway that led to the door outside into kibworth. I pushed the door and once again my feet led the way through. The room was not where I wanted to be.
I was on another planet. A red lava filled espace of new territory. Was I alone? I walked. This was too surreal. My mind had awoken. The voices which had driven me into this world were driving me out. I peered into the abyss, the terrain had given something to me. A faint figure on the horizon. Not approaching, not retreating. Perfectly still we both remained. The music played on. I heard a spinning creaking sound. It was the rotating door, it had followed me onto this planet; or had it?
Before I had grasped a hold on the ever shrinking piece of my mind I once owned I was away again. The door had captured me and through I went, the door was no longer a foe, it was the controlling influence that prevented a complete breakdown. It was my sanity. Where was I now? The planet as before but different. The figures from the room were there, but.
We held many an hour of discussion, myself and the figures but nothing was stored in memory for recollection at a later date. The music had stopped. Was this the end?
The door was still rotating. Pulsating. I had gained control of the door, I flicked between the three worlds as often as my mind would allow. Was the door physically real? Hours, days, months passed. My only companion was the door. It provided depths, light, experiences never felt before. A glazed breath of fresh air.
I awoke. I was back in the sitting room, pale. Gloomy but yet inviting. My friends, the figures at the fork had also returned with me. The road was a distant memory. My mind was mine. I had been to the reaches of civilisation and beyond. My perception of reality had been altered for ever.
I had been through the K-Hole.
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