It all starts when I start to feel a little 'pressure' and warmth in my back. That's when I know I’m about to be bolted up into heaven for a couple of hours. My head starts to feel a little warm, and then the warmth from my back starts to spread to my limbs and that's when the euphoria starts. My mood begins to get uplifted... If I were feeling 'down' or anxious before I took it, now I’m feeling uplifted - like I had a good day at school, or started a relationship with the girl I had a crush on. But that's not even close to what I feel when I actually come up. I'm still at the 'uplifted mood' stage. I stay at this stage for a couple minutes and then I begin to feel a little drowsy and relaxed, like I drank a glass of wine. But it's a completely different feeling. My breathing slows down, and every single breath I take makes me feel good. I'm beginning to feel that. And when I close my eyes and it feels like my eyes and head are wrapped in a warm towel like they do at the barber (at least in Japan), I know that the euphoria is starting. Anything I think about just feels 'good'. I can't describe it. It's just contentness.
The warmth continues to get stronger, like somebody wrapped me in the most comfortable blanket in the world. I can just stare at nothing and feel my body permeated with comfort. And when I talk to people online, I just can't help but using odd sentence combinations and weird word choices. I could write a poem that is just utterly amazing. Right now I'm talking to my girl, and it actually feels as if we have something to talk about... It feels like what I am saying has substance, has meaning to it. That is what I love so much about opiates. Everything has meaning, but I don't know why. It feels like warmth and happiness is pulsating through my body, especially in my back, but all over. And this is all just coming up - I am not peaking yet. Music really doesn't change much - but, like everything else, it has warmth to it.
At certain moments I can almost cry because I am feeling so good, something I never experience without the help of my beloved opiate. Now it is only getting much stronger. I am no longer wrapped in just one blanket, I am covered in sheet after sheet of warm cloth next to a fire in the winter... It feels so damn good I just want some way of expressing it... But I don't know how. And most of all, I don't want to lose it - but at this very moment I'm not worrying about that. All my problems are solved right now, everything - no longer do I worry about anything in life. And what is even more amazing is the fact that I no longer think about sex. My room has four candles burning and a bunch of black lights on.. It looks so romantic, although I'm by myself. I can barely type right now after I close my eyes and fall into the deep cushioned bed of 'nodding' off - a sort of awake-sleep state. I can't just help but have a smile on my face right now, after all, feeling this good, it's almost a shame not to have some kind of recognition of my euphoria on my outside.
Of course, if somebody were to see me now my pupils would scare them - they are smaller than the tip of a pen, and my eyes are glassy. Even the thought of my parents isn't scary... I could carry on a decent conversation with them now that I otherwise wouldn't be able to handle. It's an escape from reality is what it is - but damn is it a good one. Now I'm experiencing one of the side effects... Itching. On most opiates, most people get really itchy - it just happens. I can always take a motion sickness pill like diphenhydramine. For some people though it can make them very sleep and grouchy, like me, so I just prefer to take Allegra (which some people say potentate opiates because of their H2 blocking properties). I can't think of anything else to say except that now I'm nodding off into the world I wish I could stay in for ever.
