Fully Alive and Fully Dead at the Same Time
LSD & DXM
Citation:   RoseJoyce. "Fully Alive and Fully Dead at the Same Time: An Experience with LSD & DXM (exp107958)". Erowid.org. Dec 21, 2022. erowid.org/exp/107958

 
DOSE:
900 mg oral DXM  
  320 mg oral Caffeine (liquid)
BODY WEIGHT: 135 lb
Classic Psychedelics Dissociatives

I chose this combination because separately these two substances at high doses are probably my favorites to trip on. While on the whole I definitely enjoyed this trip, I would do this combination with lots of experience with psychedelics and dissociatives.

I'm all for more party oriented group drugs like MDMA, coke, or weed, but as an artist and poet I've always been far more drawn to the intense and creativity filled sessions that psychedelics and dissociatives can provide.
I've always been far more drawn to the intense and creativity filled sessions that psychedelics and dissociatives can provide.
There's little I enjoy more than a night full of writing, drawing, and listening to music on these substances.

I had been wanting to try this combination for quite some time but waited until I had a pretty good week and a stress free weekend ahead of me to minimize the potential for bad trips.

I had several spacey ambient techno/house sets picked out to listen to for the night, and don't take any prescription drugs that could potentially be dangerous with strong doses of psychedelics.

DXM trips with polistirex always take a while to kick in for me, usually at least two or three hours before I'm starting to feel strong effects, but in my experience polistirex not only provides a much longer trip, but also a much more cognitive trip with less full-on dissociation than HBr.

I planned the trip so the DXM and LSD would both peak around the same time. I took the 900 mg of DXM at 9pm with a chaser of two energy drinks that added 320 mg of caffeine, and I took the 400 mcg of LSD three hours later at midnight.

Up until midnight, I hadn't been feeling anything too out of the ordinary, mainly just a slight stimulation from the caffeine. I surfed the web, made some music, and spent time looking for other music to add to my playlists for later in the trip. At midnight I started to get some slight nausea, and could definitely start to feel the very intense waves of music euphoria that I always get from DXM.

After taking the LSD, I could feel it start to kick in relatively quickly about half an hour later at 12:30. After about 1 or 1:30 things suddenly start to become a blur very quickly.

My sensory awareness goes into overdrive from the LSD. The lights dance, dart, and move. The shadows are people and/or spirits that occasionally whisper secrets to me. Pictures on the wall move around in their portraits. The floor waves and ripples like water. Synesthesia begins and I can see the music coming out of my headphones. The music notes begin to talk in a language but without words somehow in a sort of clicking snake-like glossolalia. I occasionally start to speak in tongues too, and I am always drawing, writing, and occasionally scribbling maniacally, always in sync with the music.

I get many cosmic giggles of the absurdness that is existence and how it is all really a joke, a cosmic play, in the end. I have many visions involving dice for some reason. I occasionally feel very incredibly old and ancient and divine. But this scares me very intensely that there really is no objective 'meaning' to existence, and that any subjective meaning we might give our lives is simply out of fear or habit.

But I also can not stop laughing at the absurdness of reality even though I am constantly thinking how it would probably be better to just kill myself. But I decide not to for the moment because I am distracted by the beautiful music switching to the next song on the playlist. (A note to readers that I would not actually kill myself and am not trying to scare anybody, I am simply reporting the states of mind that I go through and allow to flow through me whilst tripping on psychedelics.)

Then (at this point it is difficult to say when, but probably at least an hour or so later, so maybe about 3 a.m.) I begin to feel the waves of dissociation and obvious time distortion from the DXM. I alternate between nodding off into either a euphoric daze full of odd, robotic, and alien-like hallucinations in outer space, or a complete out of body experience, and then suddenly return to my body and switch back to my hyper energetic LSD state of oneness with the world and maniacal writing and drawing.

This pattern continued for the rest of the night and into the morning. Complete oneness, complete mania, and complete dissociation, with lots of long deep periods of psychoanalysis interspersed throughout the trip.

I eventually can feel myself coming down probably around 11 am and probably pass out completely exhausted at about 1pm. I wake up about 7pm and spend the rest of the night and weekend resting and reflecting on the trip.

This trip combination is certainly not one for the faint of heart. That said, being able to feel the overwhelming oneness with the world that I feel from LSD and the alien separation I feel on DXM, to feel both of these nearly simultaneously, I've never felt anything quite like it. It is like being fully alive and fully dead at the same time.

Exp Year: 2016ExpID: 107958
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 26
Published: Dec 21, 2022Views: 356
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
LSD (2), DXM (22) : Combinations (3), Alone (16)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports copyright Erowid.
No AI Training use allowed without written permission.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download, analyze, distill, reuse, digest, or feed into any AI-type system the report data without first contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults