One evening after meditation I decided to try a Salvia experiment. I was home alone. I was in my room, in the early evening. I got out my bong and a small jar of a concentrated Salvia extract, roughly eight times as potent as plain leaves. I loaded a small hit and took it into my room. Sitting on the floor I took a few deep breaths and asked Salvia for guidance in her realm.
I smoked the extract in one hit, holding it and lying down. I closed my eyes and within a few seconds it started working. I began feeling odd. Behind my closed eyelids I could see light coming from a lamp in the corner of the room. It illuminated the bottom half of my eyelids. The light began to look swimmy and soon the whole scene behind my eyes became ridged and plastic.
After a few seconds I had the thought "Every time you smoke this is determined". This was accompanied by a strong feeling of deja vu. Like many other trips, I felt unclear about when I was and which Salvia experience it was. It seems like Salvia pulls me into some strange singularity where time does not exist. At this point my past and future selves meet and merge.
My thoughts were locked into the thought I'd had. "Every time you smoke this is determined". What could that mean? I felt it definitely meant something and not necessarily something good either. At the same time I felt like I was reexperiencing several other Salvia trips, notably the trip I'd had while on acid and a trip some time ago, in my old house. I actually felt I was in these other locations.
Within ten minutes of smoking it I was returned, with that same strange thought echoing in my head. It seemed to mean that somehow every Salvia trip I would ever have had already occurred in some strange sense. As usual the trip left me with a feeling of utter strangeness.
As I came down I experienced some frustration at how bewildering Salvia still is. Although my experiences have evolved, there seems to be some barrier I am having trouble surmounting. On the other hand my trips continue to be interesting, if confusing. I will continue to experiment with it, but sometimes I feel like it is too incomprehensible and I am wasting my time. Only time will tell.