Halloween was my one year anniversary of going to raves in the state I lived in. I was eager to get out and dance on what has always been a magical night for me. As it turned out, everyone I knew decided we should go out the night before Halloween, but it was close enough for me. After driving around for hours we finally arrived at the party venue around 1:00 a.m. I took three hits of acid as we walked into the party.
Once we got inside I said hello to a few people I recognized from other parties and moved out to dance. I had a good feeling about the evening, and was glad to be out, since it had been a while since I'd gone to a party tripping. I was looking forward to an enchanted, magical evening.
Before long, as I was feeling the first hints of the acid I had taken, an attractive young woman walked up to me, introduced herself, said "I like the way you look" and gave me a warm hug. Wow. This is not something that usually happens to me and it definitely put me in a great mood. I went back to dancing with a huge grin on my face.
As I danced and the acid began working its way into my consciousness I was thinking about this girl. I saw her dancing nearby with some friends of hers. Several times I considered approaching her, but I wasn't sure what I would say to her if I did. So I just kind of kept my eye out for her and basked in the glow she had left me with.
I took a break from dancing to walk around the venue and check things out. I ran into several people I have met at other parties and had brief conversations with them. One of them gave me a nice backrub. After a while I went and sat down with two of the people I had come with. I was starting to trip pretty hard by that point. I had a moment or two of "Hmm... Maybe I have chosen an inappropriate dosage..." as I started into the peak. However, as usual, once I relaxed into it I decided everything was fine.
I sat watching the stage and the play of the lights on the ceiling. I was tripping fairly intensely. I decided to close my eyes and see what movies were playing on my eyelids. I wasn't surprised to see beautiful digital/cartoon type visuals playing out strange scenes that seemed to have some personal relevance to things I had been thinking about and considering in the recent past. My perspective in this internal "movie" shifted several times in radical ways. It was an interesting sequence of visuals. Although it had a fair amount of relevance to my thoughts and feelings, it seemed more abstract and symbolic than the typical mushroom "movie". After a few minutes I opened my eyes and rejoined the rest of the party.
I noticed the girl I had spoken to earlier sitting nearby. I thought about going over and offering her a backrub. After a few minutes of consideration (and building up my courage...) I walked over to her and asked if I could give her a backrub. Naturally, she accepted.
I sat down behind her and began rubbing her back. I have always been good at giving massages, and since I have been attending raves I have had plenty of opportunity to practice. As I rubbed her back and shoulders I asked her an occasional question. Are you rolling? (Which is rave slang for "Are you tripping on ecstasy?") She was. Where are you from? A city nearby, an hour or so from where I live. Does this feel nice? It feels great. I told her to tell me if she got bored, she told me to tell her if I did. Not much chance of that...
I sat behind her, rubbing her back, arms and shoulders for quite some time. I wasn't exactly keeping track, but I would guess it was an hour or so. I was very into it. It felt very good to be touching a beautiful girl and interacting on such a sensual level. I felt very tuned into her. As I touched her I began getting a great contact high from her. Before long I felt like I had taken MDMA as well. It was very cool, a virtual candyflip! This is a fascinating phenomena and something I plan on exploring again in the future.
I probably would have sat there all night if something hadn't distracted me. Some guy came up and bummed a cigarette off of her and then offered me an "ecstasy hug". I was glad to accept. He had me stand up and extend my arms out. He rolled his knuckles along my ribcage, neck and shoulders, then put his arms around me and worked his hands into my back. It felt absolutely incredible and sparked many synaesthetic visuals. Afterwards I gave him a hug and thanked him profusely.
At this point I had to dance. As much fun as it had been giving a massage and getting an "E hug" I go to raves to dance and lose myself in the infinite beat. I moved out onto the floor and found my groove in a serious way. The DJ at that time was spinning some progressive house, not my favorite genre, but it had a strong steady beat and enough weird acid noises to keep my mind on the music.
As I danced I was thinking about my growing love of the rave scene and the awesome sense of community I was beginning to feel. When I started going to parties I loved them, but I felt very much like an outsider. I am older by a few years than the average raver, and I felt that we were attending for different reasons. As time went on I began to reevaluate this position. I know now that for many of my fellow ravers, there is a very spiritual element to the music and vibe of these events. The rave scene has a lot of people who just come to get "fucked up" and meet girls/guys, but it also has a lot of people that really care about the music, the sense of community and the magic that can come out of obliterating your ego in a steady beat and a psychedelic sacrament. As I stopped feeling like an outsider I stopped being one. Since then I have gotten more out of each party I have gone to.
The DJ kept the beat going, kept the floor hopping. I looked out at my fellow revelers and felt magic in the air. My consciousness was very dispersed and I felt very in tune with the spirit of the party. I thought about the energy of parties and ways to intensify and manipulate that energy. I watched others dancing and appreciated their unique styles and ways of moving their bodies. One of my friends came over and tapped me on the shoulder and I turned to him without stopping dancing, smiled a huge smile, and began dancing around him. He smiled back at me and began dancing himself. I was totally, overwhelmingly happy.
I danced without fail until someone told me the party was over in a few minutes, it was time to go. I was sorry to hear it, as I was still having a great time and didn't want to leave yet. I continued dancing for a few minutes, then went to find my sweatshirt. I also borrowed a pen and began searching out the girl I had been talking to and massaging earlier. After a few minutes I found her, asked for and got her number, and was ready to go.
The ride back home was interesting as I was still tripping pretty hard. I dislike riding in a car while tripping, but I managed not to dwell on it as I had a wonderful glow left from the party. It felt like a nearly perfect night. By the time we got home I was very glad to get out of the car.
Although I was still going pretty well, I was completely exhausted. I went into my room and lay down for a few hours, but I didn't manage to actually sleep. I got up and put on some music and did a balloon of nitrous and smoked a little kind bud. A friend came over and my roommate and I went to breakfast with him. After we returned I smoked more pot and finally fell asleep around 2:00 p.m.
This was a truly magical party. As I said, my love of the rave scene grows with each party I go to. Although some of the promoters make me really angry (selling water for $2 a bottle at a party that costs $30 to get into is NOT cool) and I see some really stupid shit, I also meet some of the most open, loving and accepting people I have ever had the pleasure to encounter. I hope that anyone who is interested in the spiritual side of psychedelics will take the time to attend a rave and see what it has to offer. It is a truly great place to explore some unique shamanic dimensions and interact with some wonderful people.