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Mixed Feelings On It
Methamphetamine
Citation:   atreides. "Mixed Feelings On It: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp42052)". Erowid.org. Aug 2, 2007. erowid.org/exp/42052

 
DOSE:
    Methamphetamine (powder / crystals)
BODY WEIGHT: 145 lb
This is a basic summary of my limited experiences with meth.

For a long time my experience with drugs was limited to weed and alcohol, several occasions with salvia, and very rare DXM trips. i have a friend who does meth relatively often and had been interested in giving it a try. the first time i tried it the group consisted of me, my friend (who I'll call B) and another good friend, (D). D had also never tried it before.

We smoked two blunts in a large, abandoned field, and then afterwards B made a little tinfoil bowl and put the meth in it. He heated it up and we all took hits from a straw.

I remember feeling very revved up and talkative. We all started spilling out conversation at once, commenting on the things around us and talking about a lot of different topics. I felt very energetic and 'enabled', like I was ready for anything. The feeling went away after awhile and grew less strong. I had no trouble sleeping that night or anything like that.

Over the next few months I did meth several more times. I still wasn't sure if I really liked it or not. A very positive experience I had was with a large group of people about a month or so after my first time. D, B, and I rode down to this guy J's house, where a lot of people were chilling out in his back room. I knew almost all of them and was friends with a few. Like before, we smoked some weed, this time three blunts. While the blunts were being smoked there was also a shit pipe being passed around. The taste was really unpleasant and 'chemical' feeling and irritated my mouth. Besides this, I was having fun with the meth and all the people around me. The bud seemed to counteract with the speed in some strange way, and I really enjoyed the combination. After chilling and talking for an hour so we left. B went home and D and I to this large garden on a college campus in our town.

At the garden we talked for several hours about a hundred different things. It was a really enjoyable and interesting conversation. When it felt like time to leave we rode up to a place near my house and smoked another blunt. We parted ways and I went home. That night I coudln't sleep and I could feel the blood pounding in my brain. I felt restless and strung out, and parts of my body ached. This was a really unpleasant comedown and put me off meth for awhile.

Another month passed, and a guy at school who I'm kind of friends with invited me to get spun with him. I did two large lines in the bathroom and felt that same burst of energy I had the first time, only now even stronger and more intense. I became very social and was talking to everyone around me, even people I barely knew. I felt really active and had a great time working out on the fitness equipment in the gym.

I'd made plans to meet D at the end of the day (we don't go to the same schools) and sure enough, she said weed on her. We went to my house and smoked a joint. The meth feeling had started to die down a little, but the weed instantly started it up again. Like before, the feeling was great. D had to leave abruptly and I was left by myself at my house for several hours.

Parts of that trip were a lot of fun. I had a huge feeling of self confidence and I guess you could say self absorbtion. I kept thinking all these great things about myself. Later on that night, I had one of the greatest and most intense orgasms of my life. Buzzing tremors ran through my body for over a minute afterwards.

Other aspects of that trip sucked, really badly. I was invited to basketball game but felt disoriented and stupid when I started coming down. I got this really crappy feeling all over and when I left the game and went back home all I wanted was to go to sleep.

But i was out of luck. I got this throbbing pain in my eye that wouldn't go away. I tried to close my eyes but it was impossible. It started to freak me out really badly and I began thinking 'oh shit, what the fuck is going on with my body? what the fuck is gonna happen to me?'. after awhile the eye throbbing faded away but i still felt depressed and shitty.

For a long time after this I didn't do any speed. I'd decided it wasn't my thing and that the initial great feelings weren't worth the extremely unpleasant after effects.

Then, yesterday, B asked if I wanted to smoke some of a new sack he'd gotten. I was apprehensive but agreed. We chilled out in his garage for several hours and I got a good amount of hits. There was the same nasty chemical taste again, and I never really got used to it. Later on I started to get a great sensation in my hands and arms and legs, like half my body had gone to sleep and was tingling. When we finished our session B and I had a really good, deep conversation. I learned a lot of things about him I'd never known before. We walked around his neighborhood for awhile and then came back. I tried to make myself eat some dinner but I found the meth had totally gotten rid of all my appetite. I had to force myself to eat the pizza and drink the soda.

I went home and went online for a long while, and got a lot of schoolwork down late at night. I'm still up right now, making this report at around 2:20 in the morning. I haven't felt any of the bad phsyical effects I got the last couple times.

Despite these several experiences, I still have mixed feelings about this substance. Some of its effects are really fun. I'm a pretty social guy, but meth makes 10 times more. I've had great conversations on it, and I especially like doing meth with weed. There's something about that combination that is very unique and extremely fun.

On the other side, I've had some pretty fucking crappy times being spun, so bad that for awhile I told myself I would never want to try it again. Another very big negative for speed is its addictive quality. I know a lot of people where their whole life has been eaten up by it. Some of the things i've read about its effects on the brain have also discouraged me.

Another aspect of meth that bothers me a lot sometimes is its artificial feeling, both the substance itself and in some ways, the high. I enjoy more .. 'natural' highs, like weed, salvia, and mushrooms.

so, all in all, I guess my basic feeling is this: meth can be pretty fun sometimes, but I want to continue doing it very infrequently like I have been. I've only done it six times in my life, over a period of about 5 months. I'm gonna stick with my favorites, weed and mushrooms, and give meth a try on very rare occasions.

Exp Year: 2005ExpID: 42052
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 2, 2007Views: 7,665
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Methamphetamine (37) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)

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